Happy New Year
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Another new year alone, how does Stephanie Plum spend it? Drunk...very very drunk.


A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Happy New Year

I sit in my apartment alone for yet another New year. Joe Morelli and I called it quits last New Years eve. He was getting married to an elementary school teacher tonight. I sighed as I remembered our last argument. It had been over Ranger, again.

Ranger, the other man sort of in my life was also missing from my night. That wasn't surprising either. He had issues when it came to follow through on his promises. I could only guess that someday was just a pipe dream. Exactly like everything else in my life. Sad, I know.

Instead of ringing in the New Year with anyone other than Rex, I'm in my Pj's with a bottle of wine, a bottle of rum and some snacks. I have movies all lined up to keep it going all night long. My plan, drink myself stupid and sleep on my crappy couch. Unless it's someone trying to kidnap me, no one is showing up.

My phone, however, has been turned off for the night. It kept ringing, and I couldn't stand anymore of the pity offers to join people that don't really want me there, and I was so not babysitting for anyone.

It is nearly 11:30 and I have half the wine gone and am working on the rum and snacks. I power my phone back up, which is really a bad idea when you're drunk.

I ignore all the voicemail messages, knowing that they can only make me sadder. I check out my texts and find a lot of them, including one from the man in black.

 _Babe, where are you?_

 _Babe, call me._

 _Are you alright?_

 _If I don't hear from you soon, I'll be showing up at your place._

I replied;

 _I'm fine, Ranger. I'm at home, with only rex and alcohol to keep me company. Go back to your date._

 _Babe._

That's right batman was on a date and it wasn't with me. Sadly, I had to hear about it from Hal one day when I was at Rangeman.

 _Seriously, you should stop calling me Babe. I don't think Maria would like it. Have a good night, I'll see you next week._

I shut down my phone and let the tears fall freely as the New Year rolled in. I could only picture how lonely my life would be from now on.

At 12:01 there was a knock on my door. I stumble my way to it, I don't bother to check my peep hole. If they wanted me, I'd willingly go along at this point.

"Babe, are you okay?" the man in black asks me.

" 'm fine, Ranger Danger. Jus cel..cell...party in the new year all by my lonesome."

"You're drunk."

"As a stunk."

"Why?"

"tause, imma be a sing...sing...lonely wom...man for the rest of my life. Joe married the teacher and the man I lub doesn't lub me back, dats why. So, I be lonely and drinked."

"Who do you love, Babe?"

"Shh...itsa secwet. I lubs batnam, but he's found somebody new. He don't wants me no more. I'm not not what hims wants. Hims only wants me when dere is sum one else. Ims just his toy that he gots bored wif. I was dumb and lubbed him, now I is brokeded. Hims got a new toy, a bootiful one. I sawed her you know. Shes de mostest bootiful in da world. I's just Stepanie Plum. I is nofing next to herd. So, I is alone and getting drunkded, so I can faceded the rest of my lifed all lone."

"Babe," he said on a sigh.

"See'd dats wat batnam would say, then he'd leab and I is all lone again. Likes always. Hims would tell me hims don't do relabtionchips, bit den he'd go been with hims girlfriend all ober again. My heart was brokeded too much now. No mores, I's alone for good."

"Steph, I love you and you're right about everything you said, almost. There is no girlfriend, unless you are offering. You may not remember this in the morning, but I plan on telling you every day for the rest of our lives. Let's get you into bed and I'll be here in the morning."

"It's go to bed, but I knows that dis is just a dream. Batnam doesn't want me or lub me. It's all a dream, plus yims can't be Batnam he don't talk and hims hads a date wit, Maria. So, goodnight, dream batnam."

I woke up around 2pm New Years day, alone. I hung my head believing that it had be a dream.

I let out a shriek when Ranger walked into my room with only a small towel around his hips.

"I lubs you, Stepanie Plum, and I plan to tell you that everyday for the rest of our lives."

I groan at the Ranger imitation of me being drunk. It must not have been a dream. I bolted up right, it wasn't a dream.

"Love you, Babe."

"Love you too, Batnam."

Happy New Year!


End file.
